Archive for August, 2017
Not necessarily a faith based song, but one that I love!
Had a conversation recently with someone who is more of an “introvert”. In other words, they need time alone to recharge; without alone time, they cannot function at their best. She and I were chatting – and I should disclose that this conversation took place via private message on Facebook – and she made a statement that I’ve heard before – “I know you find it fun to hang out with other people and that’s cool.”
Sure. I gain enjoyment from interacting with other people in a casual way.
But it’s SOOOOO much more than that.
The internet is full of articles explaining introverts; they feel the need to defend their need to withdraw from the “madding crowd” from time to time. I get it. Believe me, I get it. I have a sister who has always been like that. I also have a child who needs serious amounts of alone time to function at her best.
And I am completely the opposite.
I NEED meaningful interaction with other human beings to thrive. I cannot function at my best if I have been saddled with large quantities of alone time.
I’m not talking about the shallow “Did you find everything okay?” type conversation you have with a cashier. Or the “How are you?” to which we always answer “I’m good.” I’m talking about meaningful, share my dreams, talk about what makes me laugh, share what inspires me, type of conversation.
Ironically, I can psych myself out of calling up friends to chat or to plan a get-together. The need for meaningful interaction – and that can come in the form of a fabulously intense belly laugh kind of evening – is so powerful that I’m worried I’ll screw it up. Or that those I try to plan an outing with will turn me down in favor of someone/something they like better.
And I’ve learned, from talking to others like me, that I’m not unique in that fear.
So you have a group of people that need significant interaction with others yet who are afraid to reach out to others to get that interaction.
The end result of that is pretty predictable at this point in my life – if I’ve gone without interaction for awhile, I can get SUPER chatty once an opportunity presents itself. And I know I’m not the only extroverted person who behaves in such a way. If we’ve gone without a chance to recharge our “emotional batteries” in awhile, we’ll take ridiculous advantage of the situations that do arise.
I guess what I’m saying is fairly simple – where an introvert needs space and time away from others on a regular basis so that he or she can function at his or her very best, I need exactly the opposite.
For the relationally motivated in your life, the easiest thing you can do to help them stay “fully functional” is to be available on a regular basis for regular interaction with you. Trust me. You’ll both appreciate how much more emotionally balanced they are.
Lots on my mind lately but no way to eloquently express any of it.
Seeking a change in circumstances but not finding any answers . . .
Just going to leave this here.
On this day – August 15 – 26 years ago, my life was irrevocably altered. Forever.
On that day I became a mother. My body was cut open, a completely independent, unique individual was delivered through that most welcome scar, and my husband said, “It’s a girl.”
And EVERYTHING changed.
I discovered that I possessed a larger capacity for love than I had ever imagined. I could stare at her sleeping face for hours and not get bored.
I discovered that I was willing to do anything to protect her. The first time another child pushed her down to take a toy away, I was willing, just for a second, to cause that child severe pain in defense of my duckling.
I discovered that I could hear the change in her breathing when sound asleep and once it woke me, I wouldn’t sleep for hours out of fear that something was wrong.
Her laughter could make my breath catch in my throat and her sticky-faced kisses were the best part of my day. And the first time she smiled at me?! Tears were shed.
She got older and the teen years proved to be a challenge. She was trying to find her own way, spread her wings a bit, explore a bigger portion of the world. And I was still trying to keep her safe. Maybe trying a little too hard.
Adulthood. This is where parenting gets hard. Elizabeth Stone said it best –
Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
Moving away from home, having her own daughter . . . that little bundle of joy-beyond-understanding has done both of those things. She’s well-respected at her work, has regular clients that prefer to work with her over others, knows what she believes and lives by it and has recently become a mother. Watching her love on that precious little girl who made me a grandma?! There are no words.
Most days I breathe a huge sigh of relief and say a quick prayer of thanksgiving that I didn’t screw up too terribly. And I will forever be humbly grateful that I was the one lucky enough to get to be “mom” to such a stellar human being.