I'm just a wife and mother who earnestly desires to grow in my faith and it's demonstration. DISCLAIMER! I have absolutely no problem with women in the clergy. As a matter of fact, I have several female pastors who I consider friends. In my home, the pastor is a male so the pronouns I use to refer to a pastor tend to be male. This is not a statement of any kind. Just a reflection of my every day life!

Archive for January, 2014

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Song for Sunday

Not the typical “song for Sunday” post. But it’s been stuck in my head for days so here it is!

At a Loss For Words

There are times I open up the “new post” window in this blog and type in a few words and then . . . I’m stuck.  The problem varies from time to time.

  • I’m not sure that others will understand what I am trying to say.
  • I’m not exactly sure what I’m trying to say!
  • I can’t find a way to say that wouldn’t call others out and I’m not willing to use this blog to attack others.
  • I’m still working on the same life lesson and I am a little embarrassed to have people think that I’m “stuck”.
  • My thoughts are random and don’t link together for one cohesive post.

You get the idea.  So I keep thinking through things, coming up with ideas for the blog and then rejecting them for one of the reasons listed above (or others!) and then three weeks have gone by with no post!

Today I’m going to bite the bullet and throw the random thoughts together the reader sort it all out!

My twenty year dream of a musical theater company that specializes in small cast musicals will come to life this Saturday with the launch event of Stage Door Productions.  I’m all over the place emotionally and can’t decide if I want to throw a party or just throw up!

I’ve had some personal insights into some “rough spots” in my life.  Nothing profound or life-altering but it did help with perspective and provided some focus!

I’m examining my volunteer commitments and may be altering that part of my life.  All the causes I’m a part of are great – they just may not be right for me at this time.

 Trying to find ways to get creative in the music classroom when it is uncomfortably cold!  I have a corner room, two walls of windows and NONE of them seal well so I have a serious draft in my room and we’ve had many more sub-zero days than above zero days.  The students FREEZE when they come to music and there is nothing I can do about it.  (To say nothing of the fact that I’m in there for four hours and am a bit chilled myself!)

So there it is!  The bizarre world of my random thoughts laid out in sound bytes!  Hopefully I will get one decent thought going SOON for a more cohesive post!

To a Young Bride

Big events make me “wax nostalgic” as they say.  And the 25th Anniversary of my wedding day is no exception!  I spent a few moments today looking at my wedding photos.  I was only 20 and hubby was just 4 days past his 21st birthday – we look like kids!  And we had NO CLUE what we were signing on for when we said “I do”.   If there are any “regrets” from the past 25 years they all revolve around lessons I wish I had learned sooner, things I wish I gotten better at more quickly.  And I can’t help but think about what I wish I knew back then.  So I started thinking – if I could write a letter to who I was back then based on what I know now, what would I say?  What things do I wish I had learned faster? So here goes . . .

To a bride on her wedding day –

After a 23 month engagement, I KNOW you are excited that this day is finally here! In your dress handmade by your grandpa’s cousin with an overdress lovingly hand crocheted by your grandmother, the flowers and veil made by family friends as well as the satin muffs your bridesmaids carry. . . . this day you are SURROUNDED by the love of your biological family, your “church family” from back home and the “church family” you have become a part of while at college.  You are one blessed chica, do you know that?!

Today begins the biggest adventure of your life!  In just over seven years from this moment, you will have lived at three different addresses – two of them married campus housing – and you will have four children!  Over the course of your first quarter century of marriage you will live in three different states, hubby will go full-time with UPS then leave without another job in place and eventually head back into ministry (that’s a story for another time!).  His ministry-related jobs will move you all to Pennsylvania and then to Iowa but you will ALWAYS feel like Michigan is “home”.

A few tips to make things a little easier on your adventure –

1.  Your hubby is a good man with a loving heart.  He LOVES to be your hero!  He will, later in your relationship, find a love of wood-working that will fill your home with handmade pieces that he painstakingly designs and makes – or re-makes if he isn’t happy with his first design! Don’t begrudge him the time he spends on Youtube watching “how to” videos.  He is doing ALL of it for you.  You are the first person to whom he wants to show off his new creations and he will even agree to paint his pieces at your request even though he would rather stain them.  But be careful – your “I wish I had . . . “is a powerful statement that will send him into his shop quicker than anything.  In that area, your wish truly is his command!  Make sure you use your power for good!

2.  He loves you more than anyone in the world but he is human.  Just like you are. He will occasionally be thoughtless – just like you – and sometimes that thoughtlessness will hurt.  Alot. Before you judge him too harshly, remember that you have been thoughtless and hurt him. Maybe even alot. Never expect him to read your mind. He prefers direct, blunt communication – state a direct request and then zip it! Let him meet your need in his way. It might even be better than your way!

3. He is not a girl so expecting him to behave like your best girlfriend is just crazy. You are a stereotypical girl with all the sub texted conversation that goes with the territory – your girlfriends know how to pick up that unvoiced subtext but I promise, your man does not! Don’t set him up to fail. It isn’t fair to either of you.

4. He is not the enemy. You are stubborn and will stand your ground on really stupid things from time to time. If you can learn to knock that off and stop fighting battles that should never happen you will be much more at peace.

5. Be VERY aware of what is in your eyes when you approach him. He won’t tell you until you are a couple decades in to your relationship but when you approach him to start a conversation, he looks at your eyes to know whether or not his guard should be up. When your look is “seasoned with grace” (his words) you avoid conflict and he feels respected.

5. That respect thing? It’s a VERY BIG DEAL to your love. He cannot feel loved if he doesn’t feel that you respect him. Like many women who are mothers AND wives, you will get busy and find yourself talking to him like he’s one of the kids. Don’t do that!!! He is an intelligent, capable, clever man and he desperately needs to know that he has your respect. Your opinion matters more to him than what anyone else thinks. Make it your job to laugh with him and protect his dignity. No one can touch his heart like you.

Relationships are hard and you haven’t always had the best examples to learn from. Neither has he. But that doesn’t give either one of you an excuse. God has given you the lifelong job of loving and respecting that man. You aren’t called to find flaws and fix them. Love him. Respect him. Choose to see in him all the amazing traits that drew you to love him in the first place. He truly is the greatest gift you have EVER been given. See him as that – and nothing else – and you will know more joy than you thought possible!

Song for Sunday

I might have already shared this one in the past.  But it’s been running through my head quite a bit lately so here it is!

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